To poo or not to poo – it’s the great porta-potti debate.

For me personally, it’s a case of excuse me while I blow chunks. The thought of emptying anything more than onesies is enough to start me gagging.

Perhaps it's because we never had children (please note I'm fine with dog guano as it doesn't bother me – well when it belongs to my dogs that is, what the hell do some people feed their dogs to make their droppings smell THAT bad!), the thought of 'brown' water really turns my stomach.

For me the love affair with 'Percy' began after a brown snake filled ladies loo block at Lake Albacutcha. Needless to say it was a two person expedition to go to the loo bush style. I also point blank refuse to use a drop dunny, they are revolting beyond compare. I whinged and moaned and Percy turned up – HOORAH being a pest has its benefits. There was a caveat on Percy however, I use it I empty it.

No problems, I don't need to do anything other than tinkle in it, as I am what I like to refer to as 'gun shy' I don't go in public and prefer the sanctity of home, when sending turtles out to the faeces farms (there is a whole story in how long can you hold it for – I reckon I am Guinness book of records contender worthy). Well off on our big trip north with the parentals – we are to meet them in Alice, and Percy is stored in the front boot of Nigel.

Day three and I feel the unmistakeable urge – OHHH the horrors of it all. No problems at all I can get Percy out – so set up like a toddler between the car doors, I'm finally happy…. Until a lovely couple pulled up in their van to share morning tea with us, can I crawl out of this hole with my dignity intact, highly unlikely. Marty is too busy laughing to do much distracting at all....SIGH.

Onto Alice, and I have to empty Percy for the first time, I took Dad with me to show me the ins and outs of chemical dunnies. I held it together and managed to get the job done ( I was not caving in front of my dad – he would never let me hear the end of it. Sympathy is massive in my family NOT). It was the first and last time anything other than liquid went into Percy.

When we got Mick, I was all a dither about the cartridge having wheels – ohhh the luxury of it all, mobile urine. The same rules applied to 'Terry' as they did to Percy, only liquid shall pass (picture Gandalf standing there yelling "YOU SHALL NOT PASS"). Marty didn't get the memo and had to use Terry for an emergency… so he says anyway. We pulled up to a dump point as Terry was full to overflowing and I made Marty empty it – I was gagging watching the nuggets bobbing around and using the dump point as their own personal slip and slide. RULE STANDS no twos in the loos…..

Then there is the great hypocrisy of it all. We were away at a free camp for the weekend, beautiful spot, the serenity was amazing. Damn the Benefiber to hell I need to go, bigger problem is there are only drop loos. Well I broke the sanctity of the new 'Terry', but worst of all I made Marty empty it as I couldn't face what I had done. OHHH THE SHAME.

The vivid description that Marty provided me with upon finishing was enough to send me out gagging (and let's be honest I deserved it).

There are those that say you need both for the chemicals to work. NO I will argue you do not. Indeed I have seen dump points where the obvious evidence of solid matter being left behind is enough to make you chuck. There is a youtube video on this very topic.

Our toilet does not smell offensive or strongly of urine (base line argument for pooping in it) and is infinitely easy to empty when it's just liquid (I obviously drink enough to water my ones right down – hoorah for vodka really). We use a top quality chemical crystals which work brilliantly. The pre-packaged sachets are also really good for chemical toilets.

We haven't tried the 'napisan' toilet treatment yet. I believe it’s a cap full with a couple of drops of eucalyptus oil with some hot water to dissolve. There is a whole other debate about using this method, however from what I have been able to find out its fine and doesn't destroy the good bacteria in a septic tank.

So really at the end of the day the choice is one or both in the loo, unlike a conventional toilet you can't just ignore it and flush it away. You have to wheel or carry the container of excrement to a publicly visible spot (albeit like a leprosy colony away from everyone), stand awkwardly over the dump point and proceed to empty without splashing said contents all over your legs, then when you think you have finished you have to swish fresh water around to get rid of the strays… All this whilst trying to not lose your breakfast (lunch or dinner).

Do what makes you happy, if you are good with it, poop away, if not be a weakling like me.

POWER TO THE ONES